Time to take a leap of faith

So tonight as I was sitting here wasting time on the internet instead of cleaning my house or doing something productive, I opened my email and read it all. Just as I was about to close it and do something productive an email popped up. It was from a company in Salt Lake offering my husband an interview for a job. Okay....Neat right?? Yeah well they wanted to meet with him tomorrow at 2. TOMORROW! Yeah so we thought about it and my husbands current job is 2 men short this week, if my husband were to have taken off tomorrow that would have put them 3 men down. So we decided to pray about it. The answers weren't clear, but we felt like we needed to take a step into the dark.

We got the feeling that we should email back and tell them his situation and his concerns and they have agreed to meet with him NEXT week instead. So next week he will be going to Salt Lake to an interview.

The company seems pretty adamant to meet with him. He must be super qualified or something. I am excited for a new adventure in life, however I am also sad that this may be the end of this chapter in our lives. I have loved living in Logan and I have many friends here in the Cache Valley. (I know you are all saying, Well Salt Lake isn't THAT far away) but it is far enough away that I will have to make friends with new people. That is a scary thing for me.

I know that the Lord has a plan for me. It seems very open right now but I am sure there is a reason for that. Maybe he is trying to get us to make decisions (I am not very good at that). I don't know why things are so open. I do know that whatever happens is the Lords will. It will all work out and the reasons we are starting a new chapter will be revealed.

Dallyn Vail Bayles says it best in this beautiful Song. This is how I feel tonight.
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Father in Heaven, hear my humble plea.
Lost in the darkness Lord am I, Seeking light and hope from Thee.
How I fought but now at last I find my strength alone is not enough,
I need you by my side.

Not my will but Thine be done, O Lord
Not my will but Thine be done.
Not my will, not my path, not my way, but Thine.
Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done.

What must I do Lord?
What must I sacrifice?
Only to feel thy peace again, I'd pay any price.
To have hope to know the path to choose.
To have just one more chance to try, Lord, I give my heart to you.

Not my will but Thine be done, O Lord.
Not my will but Thine be done.
Not my will, not my path, not my way, but Thine.
Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done.

I thought I was strong,
Needing nothing for my guide.
Can it be that I need help from Above?
Can it be?
Unyielding me-
Down on my knees?

Teach me to love, Lord.
Teach me humility
Mold me and shape me as Thou wilt
Lord, I trust this life to Thee
Like a child, I place my hand in Thine
And now at last I feel You near
As I give my life to You

Not my will but Thine be done, O Lord
Not my will but Thine be done.
Not my will, not my path, not my way, but Thine.
Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done.

Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that wherever I am supposed to be, it is the Lords Will. I will GO and DO.

Have a :0) Day!

Time to clean the windows

Yesterday was a long day, with family over and a birthday party. However the day ended on a sweet and peaceful note. I was able to go to the General Relief Society meeting. Our stake does a dinner before hand and it was really good. The meeting started and we all sat down to listen. Sister Beck reminded us about the importance of knowing who we are and what our mission is. She also mentioned that it is important to learn the principles and patterns of the gospel. It is important for us to pick those up so that we will be able to continually teach them to others. Sister Allred talked to us about way to be fast and immovable, 1. Prayer, 2. Scripture Study, 3. Obedience, 4. Service. Sister Thompson talked about Visiting teaching and the importance of bearing one anothers burdens, increase in unity and love, care for and pray for the sisters on our lists. Last but SO not least, our Prophet spoke to us and told us a story about a couple who moved in to a place and the wife would talk to her husband about how the neighbors laundry is always dirty and that she didn't know how to do her laundry right. A few weeks went by (or days or whatever amount of time) and the wife woke up and noticed that her neighbors laundry was clean. She asked her husband how it was possible that she had learned how to get her laundry clean and her husband said, funny thing, I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.

He then used this analogy to describe how we should not judge people. How we don't know what other people are experiencing in their lives or how they got there. There is no way we can know the circumstances of another. "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" (I can't remember who said it). Another quote was "To pity distress is but Human, to relieve it is Godlike." (I don't remember who said that one either.)

We need to accept people as we really are. As I got to thinking about this afterward, I got the feeling that there was more to the message for me than what was actually said. I came home and thought about it for a while and I studied my notes and it finally occurred to me that the message was much deeper. I realized at that moment that the problem with me wasn't with Judging OTHERS, my problem was Judging MYSELF. I realized that I don't see myself the same way as Christ and Heavenly Father do. I will be working on that in the next little while.

It was a beautiful meeting. I really enjoyed it.


Have a :0) day!

Yesterday was 2 years!

Yesterday marked 2 years since I sat down at the bottom of my stairs and had a breakdown. Two years ago I didn't know what my life would bring. Sitting here today I look back and think about where I have been since then and life is so different. I think differently, I live my life differently. Things change!

Life became important. It became worth living. I learned to love it.

I love my life! I am thankful for all those who knew something was wrong and said something about it. I am thankful for those who went the extra mile to make sure that I would be okay simply by driving by to see how I was doing. I am thankful for the prayers and love that people showed me when I was experiencing this low time in my life.

There are a few people that really helped me to change. My husband was my rock. My bishop was my teacher. My bishops wife was my support. My friends and family were also my support.

Honestly the person I owe the biggest Gratitude for is my Bishop. He understood what I needed to do and cared enough to make sure I went through with things. He helped me to find myself and to find the testimony I needed to continue on. He helped me to find the values in my life and helped me to find the will to want to continue to live to carry them out. He helped me realize how much I needed my husband and my children and my family. He helped me to overcome some really hard things. Things that even my family never knew about. (if my family is reading this, it would be better for you not to ask me what I am talking about because I have worked through it and it is no longer important).

So Thank you Bishop G.. You were my teacher and you helped me to understand the gospel so much more that I LOVE my life! You helped me to change for the better and I am who I am today because you Cared.

Have a :0) Day!

Family Pictures, Silly games, and Growing up.

This week has been so much fun. My brother came and he has been here for a few days. On Thursday we went to the store and got my daughters birthday presents bought and we went out to lunch at Cafe Sabor (yummmmmmmy!). Then we came home and played finger bowling (seriously the pins are tiny and you use a marble to bowl....it was so much fun. We also played trick pong (kind of a made up game with ping pong balls and some cups) We seriously played these games for hours. It is amazing how a few ping pong balls and some little bowling pins and marbles can entertain one for hours. So anyway we have had a ton of fun.

Tonight as I was looking at my wall, I realized that I had not put our new family pictures up yet. We had our pictures taken in APRIL! I finally decided that I needed to get them done so I made my brother go to Walmart with me at 10:45 at night and got some printer paper. Then we came home and I printed the pictures. My wall looks great! I am so glad I finally got it done.

Today I have spent a lot of time preparing for a big birthday party tomorrow. My youngest is turning three in the morning. She is super excited to see the family. Tonight I made a fun Birthday banner and got all of the decorations up. Tomorrow morning I will go get her cake and some fun balloons and then we will be set! She is growing up so fast. Time is flying. I sometimes wish I could slow it down. I hope she has the best birthday.

I am getting tired, but I am happy tonight. Many great things are happening. Have a :0) day!

Taco Soup

I was about to lock my children in a closet and leave them there for a week, when my husband came home an hour early from work and saved me.

Okay I wasn't really going to lock them in a closet but I sure was getting tired of the whining, fighting, screaming, and craziness that happens after school is out. Needless to say it was a HAPPY moment when he walked in the door and I said, they are all yours.

I often think about when my husband wasn't able to come home and save me. It was a hard thing to do and I don't envy anyone who has to do the parenting thing alone. I have been there. IT IS NOT EASY! I have several friends who have had to do this for various reasons, and I often think of them. They are in my prayers daily and I may not know exactly how they feel but I have a little glimpse of what they have to do every day. I think they are absolutely amazing!

Tonight as my husband took over by doing dishes and making dinner, (taco soup), I realized how extremely lucky I am to have a wonderful husband who really truly loves me and even when he has had a long day at work, if I have had a bad day he will come home and usually take over. I am glad I have him....I am glad he loves me enough to care.

I LOVE HIM!!!!


Now as for the Taco Soup....MMMMMM YUMMMY! It is truly a bit of heaven :)


Have a :0) Day!

Way way too long

You would think that I would be able to come here for 10 minutes each day and update this.....wow it has been a long time. The kids have started school and the youngest and I have had a chance to spend a lot of one on one time together. I have enjoyed it a lot. I can also fit in a nap once in a while! It has been nice.

This has been a long year and yet it is flying by so quickly. I really do plan on keeping this blog going and I am sorry I have not been here updating it. So here is an update to what has happened since I last wrote.

We went camping a few times this summer. The kids love to go camping. Our last camping trip was quite WINDY. Somehow though it was one of the best camping trips I have ever been on. It is amazing what a great family gathering will do for you.

The kids of course started school as I mentioned before. My oldest is in 3rd grade and behind her is my son who is in 1st grade. They love school and their teachers. They have 2 of the best teachers in the school. Their teachers fit their personalities really well.

My oldest is still doing counseling and she has been learning a lot about dealing with her feelings of sadness and hurt. She is learning that she has more control over her feelings. It is so hard for her and my heart breaks knowing that because of her medication that her feelings are intensified. It is hard to watch her sometimes knowing that no matter what I say, she will not feel any better. She is a strong little girl though and she never ceases to amaze me.

My son is doing really well in school. He is learning a lot and is starting to read better than he already was this summer. He is loving school and has made friends and loves his teacher. He lost his first tooth last week and was super excited.

My youngest will be 3 on Saturday. She has such a funny little personality and she is loved by so many people. She wins the hearts of perfect strangers in the blink of an eye. It is amazing and I am sure this will come as an advantage to her at some point in her life. It could also be a disadvantage but lets hope not.

My husband has been searching for a job anywhere. We have put in applications all over the United states. He has only been contacted by one company in 2 1/2 years and it really gets frustrating. Hopefully more companies will take him seriously and consider him for a job. It has been difficult in the last few years not knowing what each week will bring as far as work goes. However we have made it this far and will hopefully make it a long time no matter the circumstances. At least we have each other.

As for me. I am the PTA president for the 2nd year in a row and I love it. I say that and I honestly don't think people believe me. I am also a member of the community council. I really enjoy doing stuff for the community. It makes me sad that more people are not involved. I am currently considering going back to school to become an EMT. I think that would be a fun profession and it is something I have excelled in my whole life. It is going to take a year or two to get enough education in for it and I probably won't be able to start for another year. By the time I am finished all 3 kids will be in school and I will be able to work a little without worrying about the kids so much.

My testimony has grown immensely this year. It has been nearly a year since my brush with death. I am so thankful to be here and so happy to have had this last year to see my children grow and become so much smarter and loving. I have built a really good relationship with my Lord. I have been blessed so much in the last year. I know that things haven't been perfect and that things have been hard but I have also really had some amazing moments.

I have experience so many things, pain, suffering, sorrow, hurt, despair, happiness, joy, love, patience, peace, and so many more. Sometimes I feel ALL of these and more emotions within an hour in a day and sometimes I feel the love and peace and happiness for days. Other times I experience the sorrow, hurt, suffering and pain for days but I know that I can come out of it and feel that peace again. This time of year has been a little more difficult than I thought it would be but I know that I am okay.

I am honestly happy today to know that I am alive and well and that I am here. I have been given this chance to shine and I intend on doing so. Until my dying day. Thanks for reading this blog! I hope you will continue to read and I promise to update more often than I have been

Have a :o) day!